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It Goes On
Read more: It Goes OnWhen I was a child, my father had a darkroom in our basement. If I close my eyes, I can still smell the bitter chemicals and see the reddish light barely illuminating the room. I did not know exactly what he was doing in there, taking paper from one chemical into another and then hanging…
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The Box That Can’t Be Unchecked
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Read more: The Box That Can’t Be UncheckedWe took our first family trip without you, sweet boy. Baby had Spring Break so we went to New York City to visit your oldest brother, Emerson. It was so quiet in the car. I kept looking in the rearview mirror, but you weren’t there. My heart saw you signing “trip” and “time” and “work”…
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Out of the Grave
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Read more: Out of the GraveSweet boy, today is our first holiday without you. It is one of those days I fiercely fight the tears because if they begin, they will not end. And that isn’t fair to your baby brother Nathan. Holidays can be tinged with grief and not tainted. We went to church this morning. I did cry…
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Silence of Saturday
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Read more: Silence of SaturdayThe hurt is constant but heavier today, sweet boy. Tomorrow is Easter and I will only make one basket. This will be our first family holiday in the after. I am hunting for the good. Every morning I wake up and my first thought is, “He is gone.” My second thought is a prayer. For…
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Hunt for the Good
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Read more: Hunt for the GoodSweet boy, we are approaching six weeks since the loss of you. At first I counted time by days and now in weeks. I don’t know why I mark the time from the day you died – only that I do. Just as we tell a baby’s age at first by days, then weeks, then…
