Even for a 20 year old

Every morning I dress my 20 year old son. Wesley was born with significant special needs and is incapable of assisting with dressing himself. My morning starts with coaxing a sometimes cooperative but more often than not uncooperative man to the bed to change. I clean the wound for his g-tube and apply dressing. Next,... Continue Reading →

So What?

Hope is birthed in and from despair. My middle son, Wesley, has significant special needs. He was born with deletions on his first chromosome and is on the autistic spectrum. Although his chromosome set is incomplete, he is more complete than anyone I know. He loves abundantly and fearlessly. He knows no stranger. I often... Continue Reading →

Autism

Today is World Autism Day. Every day for us is autism day. Autism is just one of the many ICD-9s that accompany my son's medical chart. At last count he had 15. Wesley was born in October of 2001. Despite multiple ultrasounds by several physicians, I had no idea he would be born any way... Continue Reading →

8

Nathan, my eight year old, will tell me I am the best mommy in the world when I do something he hopes I will do. If I give him an extra 5 minutes at bedtime I am the best mommy in the world. If I give him Robux for no reason I am the best... Continue Reading →

In the clearing…

Here it is. A decade has passed since I found Gary in the woods dead from a single gun shot. Time is a strange thing post trauma and I've covered a lot of ground since then. The day is now, mostly, an historical remembrance more than an emotional one. For my children though it is... Continue Reading →

Soul Healing

Soul healing is messy business. When I think of healing, my mind automatically goes to that of someone who needs to take it easy. I see someone resting in a bed somewhere. I don’t imagine the grueling hours of therapy. I don't think of the sweat and the pain just desperately trying to get back... Continue Reading →

Standards

Last night Steve shared something with me that popped up on his news feed on facebook. Someone shared "Every woman deserves a man who isn't afraid to tell others you're his girlfriend and that he loves you." It made me quite sad to think her standard of being treated well is the bare minimum of... Continue Reading →

My Mother’s Robe

When I was a child I could not, for the life of me, fall asleep on my own. I felt particularly fearful at night. It was the time when the distractions were gone and my mind had room to roam to all sorts of horrific scenarios like monsters under the bed or alien invasions or... Continue Reading →

Table Mountain Pine

Surreal. Unprecedented. Nightmare. Global Pandemic. Racing to get my son from New York University as COVID-19 landed in the Big Apple and began it's insidious journey marked for me the moment Coronavirus disrupted our daily lives. I imagined with great sadness that it would change life as we all knew it as I watched the... Continue Reading →

Distillation

Steve and I were at the store today. Shelves were empty. People were wearing masks. There was something sobering in the air. Life in America had changed very suddenly and very drastically. The cashier was telling me about how the truck was two days late. He said people were lined up before they opened and... Continue Reading →

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