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The Split
Read more: The SplitThis day will take more strength than I thought, sweet boy. I pray it doesn’t take more than I have. Today is Mother’s Day and you aren’t here. Thankfully, your brothers and Grandma are, so we will celebrate. There is now a split in my Mother’s Day. I will celebrate with two children while grieving…
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Out of the Grave
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Read more: Out of the GraveSweet boy, today is our first holiday without you. It is one of those days I fiercely fight the tears because if they begin, they will not end. And that isn’t fair to your baby brother Nathan. Holidays can be tinged with grief and not tainted. We went to church this morning. I did cry…
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Silence of Saturday
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Read more: Silence of SaturdayThe hurt is constant but heavier today, sweet boy. Tomorrow is Easter and I will only make one basket. This will be our first family holiday in the after. I am hunting for the good. Every morning I wake up and my first thought is, “He is gone.” My second thought is a prayer. For…
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Hunt for the Good
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Read more: Hunt for the GoodSweet boy, we are approaching six weeks since the loss of you. At first I counted time by days and now in weeks. I don’t know why I mark the time from the day you died – only that I do. Just as we tell a baby’s age at first by days, then weeks, then…
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Assured
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Read more: AssuredAssured: something guaranteed, certain, confidently expected. When you were born, sweet boy, we had no idea you would have special needs. I went to the operating room for a repeat cesarean section fully expecting a normal, healthy baby boy. Your cry was weak. The room was silent. Something was not right. No one came to…
