Two Crosses

As Easter approaches I have been thinking about the Cross. To the Romans, at that time, it was a means to inflict the most shame and send a resounding message of defeat. They had several methods of capital punishment but reserved crucifixion to leave a lingering message to their enemies. It was the most painful... Continue Reading →

Find the K’s

I bought Nathan, my five-year-old, a workbook to reinforce his pre-k lessons regarding learning letters. One of the exercises required him to circle all the letter k's from letters randomly thrown across the page. Once that was complete he was to connect the circles to reveal the picture. He had a role to play and... Continue Reading →

It is in the letting go…

I had a good cry this morning. And this afternoon. And this evening. I am facing the reality that in two months my oldest son, Emerson, will graduate from high school. He will finally spread his wings and in August will fly straight to NYC. Today I found myself wishing I could be more like... Continue Reading →

Joyful Expectation

I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait, and in His word do I hope. Psalm 130:5  My middle son, Wesley, has a favorite game that I play with him. Though he is sixteen years old deletions on his first chromosome have left him cognitively a three-year old. In our game Wesley lays down... Continue Reading →

Power

We were without power for almost 24 hours before it went back on this morning. High winds left trees toppled. My children's trampoline flew to the other side of my almost 2 acre yard. No power leaves everyone unsettled. It is easy to forget how much we depend on it until it is no longer... Continue Reading →

Make It Better

I can honestly say that I would not love my middle son, Wesley, more if he had a complete set of chromosomes. He would not be more my child if he did not have a diagnosis of autism. He is my joy and it is a privilege to be his mother. Once in a while,... Continue Reading →

Rather A Privilege

Taking two children to a store doesn't seem like a big deal. However, Nathan is five ears old and Wesley is sixteen but cognitively closer to a three-year old. He has autism. Genetics are strong, though, and like his mother he loves to go shopping. We pulled in to the lot of Target and I... Continue Reading →

The Third Box

There are three major events that have shaped me in the last 16 years. Interestingly, all three of these events carry diagnosis that are often whispered about but rarely understood by those not in that world. I write openly about my son's special needs and my husband's suicide. My intention for the transparency is to,... Continue Reading →

Kintsugi

Tomorrow marks the seven year anniversary of my husband's death. Between 12:30 and 12:41 on February 10, 2011 he committed suicide. I struggle with words to accurately convey the shock of suicide. Words like excruciating and traumatic fail to give justice to the violent collision of all you knew with death by choice. There was... Continue Reading →

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