Left

I confess. I lost myself for a while. When someone would ask how I was I would begin speaking about how the boys were or my mom or my husband. I have one friend who would always stop me and ask, "but how are YOU?" I never really knew how to answer that question. I... Continue Reading →

Three Minutes

I've been thinking a lot about grace, mercy, and forgiveness lately.Last week I got a phone call disguised as my worst nightmare as the parent of a non verbal child with special needs. The voice on the other end used words…Adult protective services…Complaint of neglect…Investigating whether substantial…An incident on May 3…A person hired to care... Continue Reading →

Perseverance

Perseverance: continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition. Today is a date of remembrance for me and my children. It is a date that has lost power over the last 13 years but will remain, for the rest of our lives, as a date of life altering, horrific, and traumatic... Continue Reading →

Loving Like He Was…

We've heard the adage we should live like we are dying. Life is short. Take the Trip. Buy the Shoes. Eat the cake. Live as if every day is our last. But what if we take the focus from ourselves and live and love as if others are dying? How much slower would we be... Continue Reading →

In the Hallway

Sometimes the door closes softly and other times it slams. Sometimes God closes it and sometimes other people do yet God allows it. And you stand there directionless in the hallway because no other door has yet to open.When Wesley was in the hospital over the summer my most fervent prayers were offered in hallways.... Continue Reading →

Survive

To remain alive or in existence: live on. 2. To continue to live after 3. To continue to function or prosper despite. WITHSTAND I know where I was eleven years ago today. After it happened everyone told me I wouldn't remember the first year, that it would be a fog. But I wanted to remember... Continue Reading →

Even for a 20 year old

Every morning I dress my 20 year old son. Wesley was born with significant special needs and is incapable of assisting with dressing himself. My morning starts with coaxing a sometimes cooperative but more often than not uncooperative man to the bed to change. I clean the wound for his g-tube and apply dressing. Next,... Continue Reading →

Autism

Today is World Autism Day. Every day for us is autism day. Autism is just one of the many ICD-9s that accompany my son's medical chart. At last count he had 15. Wesley was born in October of 2001. Despite multiple ultrasounds by several physicians, I had no idea he would be born any way... Continue Reading →

8

Nathan, my eight year old, will tell me I am the best mommy in the world when I do something he hopes I will do. If I give him an extra 5 minutes at bedtime I am the best mommy in the world. If I give him Robux for no reason I am the best... Continue Reading →

In the clearing…

Here it is. A decade has passed since I found Gary in the woods dead from a single gun shot. Time is a strange thing post trauma and I've covered a lot of ground since then. The day is now, mostly, an historical remembrance more than an emotional one. For my children though it is... Continue Reading →

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