Autism

Today is World Autism Day. Every day for us is autism day. Autism is just one of the many ICD-9s that accompany my son's medical chart. At last count he had 15. Wesley was born in October of 2001. Despite multiple ultrasounds by several physicians, I had no idea he would be born any way... Continue Reading →

8

Nathan, my eight year old, will tell me I am the best mommy in the world when I do something he hopes I will do. If I give him an extra 5 minutes at bedtime I am the best mommy in the world. If I give him Robux for no reason I am the best... Continue Reading →

In the clearing…

Here it is. A decade has passed since I found Gary in the woods dead from a single gun shot. Time is a strange thing post trauma and I've covered a lot of ground since then. The day is now, mostly, an historical remembrance more than an emotional one. For my children though it is... Continue Reading →

My Mother’s Robe

When I was a child I could not, for the life of me, fall asleep on my own. I felt particularly fearful at night. It was the time when the distractions were gone and my mind had room to roam to all sorts of horrific scenarios like monsters under the bed or alien invasions or... Continue Reading →

Isn’t Your Father…

The first 12 years of my life were spent in the United States Air Force. My father had joined during the Vietnam war and remained in the service until he retired lieutenant colonel many years later. Growing up on an Air Force Base is a very unique experience and not for the faint of heart.... Continue Reading →

I trust You…

I was rearranging my seven year old's room for what felt like the millionth time. He has a bunk bed that has a ladder on one side and a slide on the other. While he was sitting on the top bunk I took the slide down for a few moments. As I was trying to... Continue Reading →

When He shows up

I could tell by his voice I needed to be there. “I’m getting in the car. I am coming,” I promised. “Can I talk to Calvin?” He handed the phone to his roommate. “This is Emerson’s mom. I am coming. Do you have class? Can you and the guys please make sure he isn’t left... Continue Reading →

Trust the Process

We drove to Lynchburg just to go to the mall. My son, Wesley, has significant special needs and this week is spring break. Because of those special needs we can not travel further than we can drive. Wesley’s favorite thing in the entire world is going to malls. So, instead of a fabulous beach vacation... Continue Reading →

Hidden

When I was a child my father had a dark room in our basement. If I close my eyes I can almost smell the chemicals. I would spend time with him there as he would dip a seemingly blank sheet of paper into trays of chemicals. As a child I was not interested in the... Continue Reading →

Hallelujah

February 10, 2019 Dear Gary, It has been eight years. Eight years ago today you walked out of our basement door, into the woods, out of our lives and into eternity. Sometimes it feels like eight minutes and sometimes it feels like eight decades. Time is a strange thing when one is grieving. Like everything... Continue Reading →

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