To remain alive or in existence: live on. 2. To continue to live after 3. To continue to function or prosper despite. WITHSTAND I know where I was eleven years ago today. After it happened everyone told me I wouldn't remember the first year, that it would be a fog. But I wanted to remember... Continue Reading →
Here it is. A decade has passed since I found Gary in the woods dead from a single gun shot. Time is a strange thing post trauma and I've covered a lot of ground since then. The day is now, mostly, an historical remembrance more than an emotional one. For my children though it is... Continue Reading →
February 10, 2019 Dear Gary, It has been eight years. Eight years ago today you walked out of our basement door, into the woods, out of our lives and into eternity. Sometimes it feels like eight minutes and sometimes it feels like eight decades. Time is a strange thing when one is grieving. Like everything... Continue Reading →
When I was a child and would ask my father the definition of a word he would never give me the answer. He would present me with another question. "What do you think it means?" he would ask me. I would reply "I don't know. That is why I am asking." His next statement was... Continue Reading →
I was at Topsail Island, North Carolina last week. At the very last-minute, I came across a round, blue home that had not been booked the very week I needed it. The home was half price and right on the beach. It would be our last vacation before my oldest leaves for his freshman year... Continue Reading →
I recently had the honor of sharing my testimony with the Ministry for Women at my church. The audio is below. I'm sharing mostly because friends had asked to hear but, honestly, I can't figure out how to share it with anyone who does not have gmail. At any rate, this is part of my... Continue Reading →
There are three major events that have shaped me in the last 16 years. Interestingly, all three of these events carry diagnosis that are often whispered about but rarely understood by those not in that world. I write openly about my son's special needs and my husband's suicide. My intention for the transparency is to,... Continue Reading →
Tomorrow marks the seven year anniversary of my husband's death. Between 12:30 and 12:41 on February 10, 2011 he committed suicide. I struggle with words to accurately convey the shock of suicide. Words like excruciating and traumatic fail to give justice to the violent collision of all you knew with death by choice. There was... Continue Reading →
"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18 Hope is born from and in despair. That is my truth. Sometimes hope shows up like fireworks against the dark night sky, gloriously and brilliantly. It's presence is awe inspiring and unmistakable. But other times I feel as if I... Continue Reading →
Before October 26, 2001 I can honestly say I never wondered what it would be like to have child with special needs. Growing up in the 70's and 80's there was no such thing as inclusion. The kids with special needs had their own classroom at the end of the hall. We never interacted with... Continue Reading →
Patience to Endure 