In the Hallway

Sometimes the door closes softly and other times it slams. Sometimes God closes it and sometimes other people do yet God allows it. And you stand there directionless in the hallway because no other door has yet to open.

When Wesley was in the hospital over the summer my most fervent prayers were offered in hallways. As I prayed, deep down I knew they were going to tell me whatever it was they would. I knew God is still in the business of miracles but I also knew His miracles are, at times, not the miracle we want. Could my prayer make his heart function properly and the vegetation go away? Could it make our son live? Could I receive the strength to face another day in the ICU? They could. Would they? I wasn’t sure.

Praying was the only thing I could do but I don’t say that in a helpless way. Quite the contrary, there is unmatched power when we are utterly powerless.

There is nothing to distract you in a hallway as you stand eagerly waiting for the door to open. We are distilled down to the very core of what matters. Plain and simple. Uncomplicated.

In my life God has either closed doors or allowed doors to be closed that I did not want shut. I loved the room I was in and would have never left any other way. As I wait in the hallway He prepares another room for me. I do not know how long it will take but wait with joyful anticipation. I know the One who works on my behalf and I know it will ultimately be more than I could ask or imagine.

And so I don’t force open the door behind me. I only need to work on my obedience and the grace with which I handle the closure. I do the next right thing.

Beyond praying, I remain active in the waiting. I worship. I do His work without a room. I remain obedient even if it doesn’t seem to make sense.

Steve and I have to figure out a new plan for our non-profit food truck. Everything was disrupted from where we store it to what nights we are open to where we can park to open. But we catered a wedding on New Years Eve and had a little income. Since it was just Steve and me working and we take no salary we had some money left. My instinct was to save it all since we are still working on a plan. We are in the hallway. But God.

Last night I received a desperate message from a beloved family we have helped in the past. They were out of food. Completely. They live in an area where there is no food bank. They needed help.

This morning I went shopping and it filled my heart with inexplicable joy. I imagined how it would feel to not have food for your children and receive the gifts I was buying. I thought about their hallway and God using Legaci Eats to open a door for them.

God will open the next door in His perfect timing. Until then I can be active in the waiting. I can allow Him to use me for the good of others knowing miraculous things happen in the hallway that are just as impactful and important as the next room.

And so I shall.