Yet to Be

Waiting for the corner

just a glimpse

so I can see where I might turn.

Where the tears will slow

and my heart will beat

without the pain of breakage.

Unaccustomed to this stasis

the corner seems but a dream

So I lean

I lean into the grief

I lean away

I sway in the numbness

but a momentary relief

I am not asking for rescue

nor do I dare expect release

only hope that it can’t, it won’t get worse

yet somehow it does.

Each morning’s first thought is

I don’t want to live in a world

where you are not

and fear the grief will take

up residence and abscess my heart,

the valve will fail and the dominoes fall

But your brothers have lost a brother

They cannot, will not, lose a mother

From the couch I launch my battle cry

It is a sobbing whimper but a defiant sound

nonetheless.

A yawp yet to be